I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
