Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
