It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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