I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What a dumb baby whore.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
