I wannas sexs uuuuu
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
wow bdsm is so cute
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