Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
