It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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