I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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