Your dad touched me again.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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