We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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