idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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