It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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