I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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