1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
