Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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