Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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