sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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