the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
