belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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