I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
