So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
