a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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