thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize