so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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