I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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