Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
