ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
