why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
