doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize