oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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