Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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