just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
