I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
