To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
