i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
