How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
