there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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