spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
