did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
