I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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