i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
