I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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