hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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