Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
