11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She's the barista slut.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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