on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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