so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
