pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
