i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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