You just made me feel so damn special
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
