what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
