How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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