I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
