I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
