yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
