Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
