I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize