So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
