we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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