Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
