the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize