So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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