i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
