I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize