How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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