So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
